I’ve found that simultaneously reading James W. Thomas’ book Repotting Harry Potter: A Professor’s Book-by-Book Guide for the Serious Re-Reader has been particularly helpful this time around. My process is thus: I start by reading a section of Repotting then read ONLY the corresponding chapters in the HP book. Sometimes I re-read the section in Repotting for additional insights. It’s slow-going but I’m spending some time really thinking about the story and characters as well as appreciating Rowling’s writing ability.

I don’t always agree with Thomas and sometimes his connections and comments are a bit of a stretch in my mind but I’m finding it to be like being part of a book group that takes the content seriously. I am enjoying the foreshadowing and humor discussions as well as the tidbits about the origin of the names of people, place and things in the books. I also appreciate Thomas’ comparisons with other pieces of literature and recommendations for additional reading.

I like that Repotting recognizes that we already know what is going to happen in each book and the entire series. It helps us remember what we didn’t know once upon a time during our first reading and make broad connections across chapters and across books. I’m thoroughly enjoying my re-reading sessions that have me digging deeper into Rowling’s world and thought process. This whole experience has been an excellent complement to Pottermore. I finished book 3 a few weeks ago and am eager to continue this experience.

“As you go through life, you will realize that there are a lot more of ‘us’ holding you up than ‘them’ putting you down!”

Letters to a Bullied Girl is a collection of some of the thousands of letters sent to Olivia Gardner, a teen who became depressed and left school after being relentlessly bullied there and online for being an epileptic. Teen sisters Emily and Sarah Buder read about Olivia’s ordeal in the local newspaper and decided to take action: they contacted Olivia’s mother with the idea of asking members of their community to write letters of encouragement and support to Olivia. After local and national coverage of the project, the sisters received thousands of letters from around the world. Some recount stories of being bullied now or in the past, some came from those who had been bullies themselves…all included words of insight, comfort and hope.

One former bully wrote, “I, along with several of my friends, made a girl’s life utter hell during middle school. I have never spoken about this to anyone because I feel so horrified that I had the capacity to be so mean to someone. It was heartbreaking to see your sad face on TV and hear you talk about your depression as a result of the bullying. I am sure that my actions created similar wounds in this girl. I will always live with the pain of knowing that.”

I highly recommend this book as a starting point for discussing the issue of bullying with the children in your life. The stories are touching and the emotions are real. My friend Jacquie Ream, author of several young adult books about bullying, has shared with me that she is often amazed at how often the children she speaks to about bullying say that they were “just teasing” and had “no idea” their words or behavior were causing so much pain. I wholeheartedly agree with Jacquie’s approach to the problem: Let’s stop the cycle of bullying by bringing the feelings out into the open.

I hope you’ll be as moved and inspired by the stories in Letters to a Bullied Girl as I was. I’ll leave you with a parting thought from one of the letters in the book: “We as humans go through things in our lives that will be handled one of two ways: they will make you bitter or they will make you better. If they make you bitter, you will take it out on everyone else or blame other people for what has happened. If they make you better, your personality will be one that people will want to be around. You’ll be a person with a lot of hope in yourself and others.”

Read the book: Letters to a Bullied Girl by Olivia Gardner (Harper Paperbacks, August 2008)

Additional Note: if you visit Amazon.com to purchase this book (or read the reviews) you will see a video review from the author who shares information about her story that may have you question the authenticity of the book. I believe that the book stands as a valuable resource on its own merits even if portions of Olivia’s bullying story were not accurate as reported in the news (or in the book). The letters Emily and Sarah Buder received are real and there is still much to be learned from the stories the letters tell.

Freakonomics

It’s rather rare for me to see a movie before I read the book but I happened upon the movie Freakonomics on Netflix streaming several months ago and enjoyed the broad connections and thought-provoking discussions. Having finally read the book, I can say that I enjoyed the additional depth offered by the book. I’m a bit of a Sociology buff but no economics expert so while I can appreciate the connections the authors’ made, I certainly am not in a position to refute any of their data or conclusions. That said, by the end of the book, I found myself enjoying the IDEA of the potential connections that I wasn’t as concerned about the validity of the data. Scary, I know. But I thought of it more as an exercise in “What if?”, which is why I love to read science fiction and fantasy novels as well.

I believe that our behavior is in part determined by what motivates us and the incentives available to us, especially in terms of our interactions with others. I can see where a sumo wrestler might cheat a little when the outcome means little to him and more to his opponent, whom he knows quite well. I know it’s not on the same level but haven’t you ever let a little child win at a board game? Or listened for hours to a friend talk about her latest problem even though you’d rather be doing something else entirely? Don’t we often have to weigh our choices based on what’s in it for us and sometimes decide that it’s more important to choose what’s in it for someone we love?

You probably won’t enjoy this book if you aren’t a fan of popular science or know a lot about economics or care deeply about data and statistics. But, if you have an open mind and simply want to enjoy a “What if?” discussion, I recommend spending a few hours with the book or the movie.

I find Monk to be a fascinating character and enjoy the references to the medical care of the time particularly with mental illness. I also love Hester’s character: her intelligence, wit, interest in medicine and the way she stands up for herself and what she believes. The mystery was interesting and the descriptions of the lifestyle, settings and characters were vivid. Looking forward to reading the next book in the series!

I thought the ending was sweet and a bit of a twist (although about halfway through the book, I started noticing clues to where the story was headed). I liked the personalities of the girls Flora meets in the past and how she realizes what is really important in her life.

Becky’s devotion to her family and her wonderful husband, Mike, was beautiful and inspiring while her deep connection with Felix was funny and thought-provoking. Should men and women be friends? Do you have only one soulmate? Are all soulmates intimate partners? Is it unreasonable to expect one person (i.e., a mate) to fulfill all our needs? I could easily imagine how I’d react to a similar situation and I’m pleased that Becky stayed true to herself and her beliefs throughout the story.

Transforming Abuse

Transforming Abuse: Nonviolent Resistance and Recovery by K. Louise Schmidt uses a synthesis of feminist theory and nonviolent practice as the springboard for understanding violence toward women and children, our place in the system, which perpetuates the violence, and suggestions for societal change through personal action. Schmidt offers us a vision of a non-enemy ethic that begins with practicing nonviolence in our daily lives and extending this into our families and our communities.

Schmidt begins her look with a horrifying account of the violence that affects us all. Armed with statistics and the words of experts in this field, she paints a grim picture of the reality of violence towards women and children and the current social silence surrounding it. Schmidt believes “…all violence is the result of great alienation from the fragility and preciousness of all our lives. Life, this great gift, is forgotten in a plethora of greed, individualism and fear.” (23) Reminding us of the distinction between anger as a feeling and violence as an action, she writes that we cause pain in others because we disconnect ourselves from the pain in our own lives. Rather than allowing the feeling to transform into violence, anger and hurt can be our greatest resource for the energy to create change.

Drawing upon the tenets of feminism and the practice of nonviolence, Schmidt weaves a worldview that allows us to stop being victims while refusing to be violent. Feminism “…supports the development of ideas and alternatives that respect the diversity and commonality of humankind…” (27) while nonviolent practices embody a heartfelt respect for others through a non-revenge ethic. The key to positive change is restoring the connection between our body and our soul, and developing a healthy relationship with our selves in order to end the inner war. This will, in turn, open our eyes to a mindfulness of others and the world. Schmidt encourages us to examine our personal lives, alter our thoughts and behavior, and consciously extend our peace and love to those around us.

Once we recognize the interdependence of all life and refuse to bend to the binary logic of “us vs. them” or “good vs. bad”, true change is possible as we learn to practice consensus by building alliances, focusing on win-win solutions, and recognizing diversity as a resource rather than an obstacle. We will reinforce the idea that “our real opponent is not the offender; it is the system that creates the offender and arms him or her with the authority to oppress.” (89)

Schmidt also offers suggestions for generating this change in our families and our communities. She believes the family is a sanctuary, an environment where each member feels freedom, love, and a sense of belonging. “Nonviolent child-rearing practices offer a child loving acceptance based on gentle leading and the expression of joy in their presence in our lives.” (106) Nonviolence in our communities begins with the realization that “we are all members of one another, and when the health of one member suffers, the health of the whole body is lowered.” (112)

In her final chapters, Schmidt develops a vision of creative justice based on deep democracy—the belief that there is a place for all members within our community. Transforming violence requires the efforts of all segments and all levels of society—from the grass-roots groups to the criminal justice system; although, as Schmidt points out, our criminal justice system currently persecutes the offender as well as the victim, which halts any progress towards reformation for the offender and recovery for the victim. Ultimately, it is the nonviolent actions of each citizen that will transform our society from its preoccupation with the enemy ethic and allow for cooperative partnerships with every member of the community including the abusers.

In our fight to end violence against women, we must remember the principles of nonviolence in order to practice our belief that all life is precious. With exercises for individuals, small groups or workshops as well as an extensive list of resources for further research, Transforming Abuse offers an alternative method of converting our anger and hurt into positive energy for both internal and external change.

Book review originally published in Working Together, Summer 1996 ( the newsletter for the Center for the Prevention of Sexual and Domestic Violence, Seattle, WA)

Improbable Cause wasn’t my favorite book in the series so far but it was a solid story with enough twists to keep it interesting. And, as always, I enjoyed the references to Seattle and the further development of familiar and likeable characters.

For me, the story brought home the importance of communication in any relationship and understanding your own expectations before shunting them off on another. For two middle-aged lonely people who have so much baggage (personal and relationship), it was amazing they were able to make it through the compromise stage at all. Their personalities were strong and their expectations were so reasonable yet so unreasonable at the same time. I smiled, I laughed, I shed a few tears, and I found myself wanting to read more when the end came. Overall, a great read if you like your love stories with a whole lot of real life thrown into the mix.

Miss Marple is a wonderfully likeable and understandable character and the village setting is quaint and lovely (I can so picture the gardens!). Christie does an excellent job of giving you just enough information to get a vision in your mind but not so much that you cannot expand on the vision with your own imagination. The mystery was comfortable and, while somewhat predictable, still enjoyable (most likely it was so predictable because I’ve read so many mysteries over the years). I liked the depth of characterization and the feeling I was sitting alongside Miss Marple enjoying a cup of tea and listening to her stories. Really looking forward to reading more in the series.

I enjoyed seeing Larry meet all kinds of interesting people and learn to love his new life. I’ve known folks in his exact situation…some have chosen to wallow in the pain of losing their old dreams and some, like Larry, have chosen to move forward towards a new dream. In the last few years, I’ve lost several long-held dreams and I’m slowly working my way towards embracing some new ones. It’s meant choosing to let go…of things, memories, wishes, friendships…but I’m finding so many fulfilling options to fill any voids.

Yesterday my niece and I spent a wonderful afternoon down at Lake Union as we took a tour of the lake and Ship Canal on board the Queen of Seattle paddle wheeler. The boat is the largest of its kind west of the Mississippi and the whole experience replicates that of travelers back in the gold heyday of Seattle (1890s). The two-hour journey took us past houseboats, GasWorks Park, and the Locks as well as past dozens of kayakers, paddle boarders, and folks in small boats.

It was a cool, windy and gloriously sunny day and the scenery was breathtaking. I convinced my niece (who is not a fan of wind or cool weather) to spend most of the trip on the open top deck where the views were the best. This put us right in front for the steam calliope performance which sounded great but the performer was quickly lost to sight amidst all the steam. On the route back to the dock, we joined the other guests inside the covered deck for a short performance featuring period songs and dances. We had an excellent time and highly recommend the experience.

Allyson savors the first bite of the first cupcake from the box

I know cupcakes are trendy right now and I can certainly understand why. They’re small which makes them so cute when they are decorated and they are the perfect portion for those folks who care about stuff like that. I like them because I get a variety of flavors all at once and most bakeries are experimenting with the most surprising and delicious flavor combinations.

Through Groupon (yay, Groupon!), I discovered that I have an award-winning cupcake bakery right near my neighborhood: Trophy Cupcakes. It was surprisingly difficult to select the flavors for my first dozen…so many choices and I definitely wanted to see how they treated my old favorites like red velvet. I also included a few “standard” flavors like chocolate and vanilla for my less adventurous family members.

The verdict? Every bite was superb! I could tell the ingredients were high-quality even in the standard flavors: the chocolate was rich and the vanilla had a wonderful depth of flavor. In the name of research, I convinced everyone to give me one bite of each of the flavors (some folks took more convincing than others) and I must admit that I enjoyed every bite. The more exotic flavors (like Salted Caramel and Strawberry Lemonade) were outstanding. I still think my favorite was my old standby: red velvet. The cupcakes are a great size and, while some of my other testers thought there was too much frosting, I found the frosting to cake ratio to be perfect.

I definitely recommend these amazing cupcakes. They feature different flavors on different days (see their website before heading to the store) and will run out of flavors later in the day so stop by early to get the best selection. The cupcakes won’t stay fresh long so plan to share with friends if you buy a dozen or more.

Rosemary & Thyme TV Series

I’m finishing a marathon of one of my favorite British TV series: Rosemary & Thyme. I’ve watched the complete series several times now and it’s rather like visiting with an old friend: some parts are familiar yet I always seem to notice something new.

The show is a nice mix of drama, light comedy, and some snippets of romance. The stories are good and the mystery is usually interesting but it’s the scenery and characters I enjoy the most. There’s something quite appealing about English gardens and beautiful manor houses and cottages. And the two main characters feel real to me.

The show was one of my mom’s favorites as well and we watched it together when she was ill and confined to her bed. We spent as much time discussing the lovely gardens as we did the mystery stories!

I do love a good English cottage garden and think my backyard would be the perfect spot. Alas, my thumb is not as green as it needs to be so I’m still experimenting. Right now, I try to see past the flourishing weeds and envision my perfect cottage garden. Until it appears in real life, I’m content getting inspiration from good ol’ Rosemary Boxer and Laura Thyme.