Light-it-up Blue for World Autism Awareness Day

Note: I regularly ghost-write for my clients…here’s one of my favorite articles I wanted to share with you.

Did you know that adolescents with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) are at least three times more likely to be verbally and physically bullied? Some experts believe that the primary characteristics of ASD, such as communication difficulties and trouble understanding sarcasm and humor, make some kids with ASD easy targets for bullies.

As we already know, victims of bullying are at greater risk for depression, anxiety, and other mental health problems; problems that can compound the stress and anxiety many autistic children already feel in social situations. Bullying of those with ASD tends to increase as the child reaches adolescence most likely due to the more increasingly complex social interactions and pressure for teens to conform.

As with most forms of bullying, bullying of those with ASD decreases with increased awareness, bystander intervention, and peer support. Expert believes that Social/Emotional Learning (SEL) programs that specifically address interacting with people who have disabilities can help adults and children become better equipped to interact with those with ASD as well as intervene in a bullying situation.

Please join me and countless others on April 2nd, World Autism Awareness Day (WAAD), as we raise awareness about this growing global health crisis. In the United States, 1 in 88 people have ASD, the majority of them are male. According to the National Autism Association, “Autism impacts the normal development of the brain in the areas of social interaction, communication skills, and cognitive function. Individuals with autism typically have difficulties in verbal and non-verbal communication, social interactions, and leisure or play activities.” Experts believe early detection and intervention can help those diagnosed with ASD to reach their full potential.

Around the world, hundreds of stores, stadiums, bridges, landmarks, hotels, homes, and offices will Light It Up Blue next Wednesday, April 2nd. You can help by lighting up your own home, wearing blue that day, sharing information about Autism with your social network, or attending a local fundraising event.

For more information about WAAD and Light It Up Blue, visit AutismSpeaks.org.

Photo: ©2013 No Limit DJs (https://www.flickr.com/photos/nolimitsdjs/8614981410)

Unfinished Journals (photo by Julie Gibbons 2010 via Flickr)

I admit it: I am only a sporadic journal writer. I can go for months without writing in my journal and then one of several things happens (see below) and I’m back on the journaling train once again until the momentum wears off.

It’s quite revealing why I start journaling after an absent period: emotional catharsis is desperately needed, or I stumble across one of my many journals and become wistful, or I find a new and improved method of journaling (sometimes it’s a lovely new bound journal but often it is a new piece of software or the like). No matter the reason, I only tend to journal when I am either inspired or requiring release. Interesting.

Perhaps this is why my sporadic journal entries waffle between mind-numbing banality and horribly cheeky ranting and raving!

I understand intellectually that writing a journal by hand is supposed to be more “connected” with your inner self but I type so much faster than I can write and my hand has become so unaccustomed to writing that it cannot sustain any sort of writing for any length of time. So I always find myself doing a combination…typing some and writing some. In my opinion, it doesn’t really matter as long as I get the thoughts out of my head and onto paper.

I’ve always longed to be someone who journals regularly and this blog is certainly helping (although I save the really personal stuff for my offline entries).  Lately, I’ve been researching journal prompts. I don’t usually need them to get my creative juices flowing but I’m finding them to be a way to gradually ease myself back into this process. I’m not going to set any sort of rules about journaling so that I don’t become discouraged too quickly. Anyway, life is supposed to be fun, right?

This time of year I am particularly drawn to journaling again. Perhaps it’s the stress of the holiday season or the promise of the blank slate of the new year…either way, I’m pleased that I have at least several beginning-of-the-year entries each year to track my growth over time.

Transforming Abuse

Transforming Abuse: Nonviolent Resistance and Recovery by K. Louise Schmidt uses a synthesis of feminist theory and nonviolent practice as the springboard for understanding violence toward women and children, our place in the system, which perpetuates the violence, and suggestions for societal change through personal action. Schmidt offers us a vision of a non-enemy ethic that begins with practicing nonviolence in our daily lives and extending this into our families and our communities.

Schmidt begins her look with a horrifying account of the violence that affects us all. Armed with statistics and the words of experts in this field, she paints a grim picture of the reality of violence towards women and children and the current social silence surrounding it. Schmidt believes “…all violence is the result of great alienation from the fragility and preciousness of all our lives. Life, this great gift, is forgotten in a plethora of greed, individualism and fear.” (23) Reminding us of the distinction between anger as a feeling and violence as an action, she writes that we cause pain in others because we disconnect ourselves from the pain in our own lives. Rather than allowing the feeling to transform into violence, anger and hurt can be our greatest resource for the energy to create change.

Drawing upon the tenets of feminism and the practice of nonviolence, Schmidt weaves a worldview that allows us to stop being victims while refusing to be violent. Feminism “…supports the development of ideas and alternatives that respect the diversity and commonality of humankind…” (27) while nonviolent practices embody a heartfelt respect for others through a non-revenge ethic. The key to positive change is restoring the connection between our body and our soul, and developing a healthy relationship with our selves in order to end the inner war. This will, in turn, open our eyes to a mindfulness of others and the world. Schmidt encourages us to examine our personal lives, alter our thoughts and behavior, and consciously extend our peace and love to those around us.

Once we recognize the interdependence of all life and refuse to bend to the binary logic of “us vs. them” or “good vs. bad”, true change is possible as we learn to practice consensus by building alliances, focusing on win-win solutions, and recognizing diversity as a resource rather than an obstacle. We will reinforce the idea that “our real opponent is not the offender; it is the system that creates the offender and arms him or her with the authority to oppress.” (89)

Schmidt also offers suggestions for generating this change in our families and our communities. She believes the family is a sanctuary, an environment where each member feels freedom, love, and a sense of belonging. “Nonviolent child-rearing practices offer a child loving acceptance based on gentle leading and the expression of joy in their presence in our lives.” (106) Nonviolence in our communities begins with the realization that “we are all members of one another, and when the health of one member suffers, the health of the whole body is lowered.” (112)

In her final chapters, Schmidt develops a vision of creative justice based on deep democracy—the belief that there is a place for all members within our community. Transforming violence requires the efforts of all segments and all levels of society—from the grass-roots groups to the criminal justice system; although, as Schmidt points out, our criminal justice system currently persecutes the offender as well as the victim, which halts any progress towards reformation for the offender and recovery for the victim. Ultimately, it is the nonviolent actions of each citizen that will transform our society from its preoccupation with the enemy ethic and allow for cooperative partnerships with every member of the community including the abusers.

In our fight to end violence against women, we must remember the principles of nonviolence in order to practice our belief that all life is precious. With exercises for individuals, small groups or workshops as well as an extensive list of resources for further research, Transforming Abuse offers an alternative method of converting our anger and hurt into positive energy for both internal and external change.

Book review originally published in Working Together, Summer 1996 ( the newsletter for the Center for the Prevention of Sexual and Domestic Violence, Seattle, WA)

Dear Soul Mate,

It feels strange to write to someone I’ve never met before. Of course, maybe we have met and I didn’t realize who you were. Either way, we aren’t together right now in the way I know we are meant to be together. Maybe we’re acquaintances. Maybe we’ve never met. Maybe we’ve passed each other on the street or in a crowded restaurant.

I dream about you. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and I feel your arms around me. I feel comfortable. Peaceful. Secure. Loved. Sometimes I wake up and my first thought is: “I miss you” and I know in my heart that it is you, my soul mate, that I am talking to in that moment.

I guess we aren’t together yet because it isn’t time for us to be together. I worry that time is running short. My mind wants to meet you and start the fabulous journey that will be our life together.

But, right now I am content knowing that you are out there, taking care of what you need to do in your life before we can meet. I also understand that there are things I need to accomplish before we can be together. My goals now are to discover those things and do them. To bring us ever closer.

I love Richard Bach’s book The Bridge Across Forever because it reminds me that you are out there waiting for me and that I will find you, someday. Because I believe that life brings us the people we are meant to know. And who is more important in our lives than our soul mate?

I wish you, my friend, peace, love, light and every happiness.

Until we can be together…

Send.
Goodbye.
Thousands of thoughts, feelings
condensed into seconds of electronic blips.

Welcome.
You’ve Got Mail!
Millions of miles away, you read my words,
you enter my life.
For a moment.

My soul is nourished by the thought of you.
Smiling as you read,
smiling as you begin to understand
the complex person that is me.

Your reply waits for me.
Each step brings me closer to joy
peace
and light.
Do I dare linger?
Extend this sweet anticipation?

Welcome.
You’ve Got Mail!

“The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly.” —Richard Bach

“The significant problems we face cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them.” —Albert Einstein

“He who has a strong enough why can bear almost any how.” —Nietzsche

“Nobody is so miserable as he who longs to be somebody and something other than the person he is in body and mind.” —Angelo Patri